Star Wars on Crack
by raconteurr
Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if the Star Wars character's were locked in one house together, all of them on a sugar high or something like that? Well, if you haven't, I don't care, cause I have!
1. Pudding and Pimp Canes

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own Star Wars or any of the characters in this "story" (except maybe the 2nd Twi'lek). The only thing I own is the plot line (if there even is one… and there's not) and the crazy antics.

Enjoy!

P.S. I know this story is crap, because, well, it's the product of an hour of nothing to do in study hall. None the less, Enjoy!

P.S.S. Sorry, I'm very forgetful today. Anyways, there will be more of these… 'things', so yeah. Now, you may enjoy!

* * *

Anakin opened the door to Obi-wan's bedroom and stepped in to see Padme stripping for Obi-wan, who was sitting on the bed.

"You have turned her against me!" Anakin yelled at Obi-wan, who was now standing face-to-face with Anakin.

"You have done that with your insignificant dick!" Obi-wan yelled back.

Padme, who was just standing there topless while Obi-wan and Anakin had a stare down, decided to throw her two-cents in.

"He gave me pudding!"

Silence. Obi-wan and Anakin turned to look at Padme, both having a look of confusion on their faces. Padme's eyes darted about the room, and she dashed out of the room.

About five seconds later, a loud smack was heard and someone screamed. Both Obi-wan and Anakin ran out of the room just in time to see Padme (still topless) running down the stairs and…

Yoda, decked out in a pink pimp suit, complete with hat with feather and a pimp cane with a lightsaber crystal at the end where the "bling" on a pimp canewould normally be. He was also giggling.

"Hot, that was, Dawgs," Yoda chuckled, "And a tight ass that babe has, too!"

Anakin's eyes turned red. "Why you little green bitch!"

Anakin charged at Yoda, only to be lifted off his feet and slammed into the ceiling by the little green "bitch". "Hmm hmm! With me, the Force is, Bitch!"

Anakin, who was on the floor because Yoda dropped him, slowly stood up and rubbed his head, where a large bump was now forming. Obi-wan was inching out of the hallway.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Aayla Secura stepped into the hallway in nothing but a tight leather mini skirt and matching thigh-high leather boots (a/n that's right, you've assumed correctly, she has no shirt on). One of her Twi'lek friends, dressed exactly like her, walked out next to her. They spotted Yoda and went over to him, one on each side.

"Heeey, Masta' Yoda!" The Twi'leks said in unison.

"Ay, my bitches!" Yoda replied, force jumping so he could smack their asses.

The Twi'leks both squealed. "Oh Masta' Yoda, you're such a playa!"

Yoda took his pimp cane (a/n Whoops... forgot to tell you that now his gimmerstick was replaced by the pimp caneever since his gimmerstick was stolen by Padme and Obi-wan so that they could… well, you get the picture!) and smacked the two girls in the shins. "Tell you to call me what, did I, bitches?"

The two giggled. "Sorry, Pimpin' Yoda." (a/n Yoda really needs to work on his nicknames -.-)

Yoda smiled. "Better, that is. Now, go, we shall, my bitches!"

The three left, Yoda in the middle and the Twi'leks, one on each side of Yoda.

Anakin (who hasn't been mentioned in a while) stood where Yoda and the Twi'leks left him, his right eye twitching. Obi-wan had escaped, but had tripped and fallen down the stairs and was now making out with Padme (still topless!) at the bottom of the stairs.

* * *

Review bitches, and I'll post another one! 


	2. Jedi Power Battles

JEDI POWER BATTLES!

Okay, just so you all know (in case you did not), there actually is a game called Jedi power battles for Playstation. Yeah. I have played it, and it kind of sucks, so I took the liberty of making it into a kind of Mortal combat-ish thing. But yeah. Whatever. Enjoy the crazy antics of the Star wars House (and sorry that it's so short again; I'll try to make the next one longer).

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Anakin and Obi-wan sat on the couch in the living room playing Jedi Power Battles on PS2. Anakin was playing as Qui-gon as Obi-wan played as himself.

"Dude, this sucks!" Anakin exclaimed, pressing random buttons on the controller of the PS2. "I mean, they don't even have me on this stupid game!"

Obi-wan let out a small sigh before returning to beating Anakin. "Well, for one, you were just a little kid when this game was made. Second of all, you suck anyway!"

The Imperial March played as Obi-wan struck down Anakin's character with a fatal blow to the head. "YEEESH!" Obi-wan threw the controller onto the ground, jumped to his feet and began to do a victory dance. Anakin threw his controller on the ground and started shouting random obscenities at the television.

Suddenly, at the entryway to the living room, Padme appeared in a tight leather bodice, matching leather skirt, and thigh high leather boots. (a/n imagine Tomb Raider except smaller boobs, no DSL, and Padme's face plastered on this.)

"Oh, Booyys," Padme said sexily, leaning up against the side of the doorframe. She was ignored because the "boys" were now rolling around on the floor, wrestling for the television remote.

"Mud wrestling babes!" Obi-wan shouted, attempting to bite off Anakin's ear.

"Babes wrestling in mud!" Anakin yelled back, his voice muffled by Obi-wan's arm in his mouth.

"Men," Padme muttered as she walked, well, limped out of the room.

"MUD WRESTLING BABES!"

"BABES WRESTLING IN MUD!"

Padme's head reappeared at the living room entrance. "THEY'RE BOTH THE SAME GOD DAMN THING!"

Obi-wan and Anakin stopped for a moment, and both stared at Padme, looking dumbfounded. "No, they are not!" they shouted in unison.

Padme shook her head, sighed, and disappeared again without a word, leaving the two to kill each other. About a minute or so later, a large thump and a moan was heard from the kitchen. Anakin and Obi-wan sprung to their feet and dashed into the kitchen, where they found Padme and (a/n who would have thought?) Mace Windu making out in the middle of the kitchen on the floor. Padme's top was off (a/n that seems to be happening a lot lately, no?) ,and she was on top of Mace, who was in nothing but a black Speedo (a/n shudder…)

"My eyes!" Anakin screamed, running out of the room.

"Free Porn!" Obi-wan whipped out a camcorder and started taping as Mace and Padme ran out of the room. "Come back!" Obi-wan could be heard yelling as he ran after them.

About five seconds after Obi-wan ran out of the kitchen, Yoda quickly came hobbling in. "What is this about free porn, I hear!" He looked around slowly, and after seeing that there was no free porn (a/n shame, eh?) , he made a humphing noise and left the room.

Somewhere in one of the bathrooms in the Star Wars house, Anakin was trying to clean his eyes out with ammonia (a/n what a smart one, eh?). Obi-wan was still trying to tape Padme and Mace, but they had found a safe spot and were now… well, you get the point. Obi-wan was sad, so he taped himself making funny faces at a picture of a llama.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Er, yeah, sorry. Just review it. I'll put another one up soon.


End file.
